PASTA ALIGNMENT

[11:47 pm] luca: party has 40 people, 3 bathrooms, 1 bathtub (•̀ω•́)✧
[11:48 pm] maya: can we quantify vibes before allocating beer? 📊(╯°□°）╯︵ 🍺
[11:49 pm] tom: i brought vegan tiramisù for maximal hedonic impact 🤌🍰(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
[11:50 pm] someone: who put “p(doom)” on the aux cord 😭🔊(≧皿≦)
[11:51 pm] luca: it’s just 10 hours of gregorian chanting remixed with sirens (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 🚨
[11:53 pm] maya: guys the host is crying in the kitchen (；´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)
[11:54 pm] tom: good news: i calculated the tears are cost-effective 💧📈(ಠ_ಠ)
[11:55 pm] host: WHY IS THERE A SPREADSHEET FOR MY BREAKUP
[11:56 pm] luca: because emotional support without a counterfactual is astrology 🤌(•̀ᴗ•́)و
[11:58 pm] group chat renamed: “impactful suffering reduction” 💃🕺(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻